Ohio Twist
by Au revoir Amour
Summary: Ryan and Kurt visit Lima. Will hillarity ensue? Probably. Sequel to "NY Minuet." Ryan/Kurt
1. The Sun Always Shines on TV

_Don't be surprised if my updates aren't as fast as they were last time, but yes, this is the sequel to New York Minuet. The much anticipated sequel, that is. You guys are the best reviewers ever, honestly; I might not have written one if you didn't all bug me about it (with a billion PMs, a la Alex), so thanks. 'Cause I have a few good ideas for this one. :)_

_As always, I own nothing, especially not Disney or Fox, or any of their shows and movies. And also, as always, feel free to point out any major errors— I will be happy to fix them for you. I'm not a grammar Nazi, but I know some of you guys (*ahem*Casey*ahem*) are, so yeah. Just tell me what I'm doing wrong, and I'll fix it. Continuity errors, too, because I can't remember everything and make it match._

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**Ohio Twist**

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**Prologue: The Sun Always Shines on TV (A-Ha)**

"We're live in three... two... one..." Dave made a motion with his hand and pressed the _on _button, just like he had a hundred times. The two beautiful women standing before him, one tall and blonde and gorgeous and the other shorter, brunette and equally gorgeous, both smiled winningly at the camera. The blonde one had her eyes fixed on it like it was her pray, so much so that it was almost creepy. She took a big breath and put her microphone to her mouth, her red-glossed lips not quite touching it.

"Hello everybody! It's Crystal Waters," she said confidently, her teeth white and shining.

"...And Lucille Bradley from _WeTalk: Live_, at the red-carpet, Cinerama Dome, in Hollywood, at premiere of the much-awaited comedy, _Family Vacation_," the brunette added, the perfectly scripted lines rolling off her tongue.

"Everyone had been waiting for this movie! Isn't this so exciting, Lucille?"

"Yeah! It's going to be really fun, because we have the whole cast coming through, and we're going to interview all your favourite stars, as well as the director, if I'm not mistaken—"

"Hopefully we'll catch them as their coming out." The women playfully shoved each other for the centre of the shot, neither wanting to be standing on the side, but making it look friendly and cute. Dave rolled his eyes, trying his best to keep both of them in the shot at all times as they bounced around excitedly.

"Oh, look, there's Ryan Evans, let's catch him for an interview!" Crystal squealed excitedly, rushing over to the actor. Lucille gallantly took a step back and let Crystal take this one, knowing full-well that the movie's real star, the infamous Reese Witherspoon, would most likely be coming out of the Cinerama any minute, and that she could whisk her away for an interview when she did.

Dave followed her with the camera, trying to keep focus on both the beautiful reporter and the young actor she was fawning over. The guy standing awkwardly next to Ryan took a sideways step to avoid being on-screen, but he wouldn't have been in the close-up anyway. "This must be such an exciting night for you, the premiere of your first movie. Tell me, what was it like having your break-out role being opposite Reese Witherspoon?"

_Poor guy looks out of his element,_ Dave though sourly, watching as Ryan tried desperately to find something witty to say. _Crys needs to stop scaring them like that._

"Oh, well, it's been amazing. She is such a wonderful actress, and the nicest person to work with— I had an excellent time working with her," Ryan said, quickly putting on his own winning smile and beaming at the camera. "I wouldn't trade the experience for the world."

"Fans want to know: what will you be doing next?" Crystal prompted, once again pushing her mic at him. Ryan seemed a little put off by the fact that she thought he already had '_fans_' (few people knew his name yet, considering this was his first ever role, and the movie wasn't even out to the public yet), but shrugged casually anyway.

"I know I'm going to be taking the summer off to visit family and friends, get back to my roots a little," he confided, seriously considering the question. "As for future projects, I don't know yet. I don't have anything lined up yet, but I am definitely hoping to jump right back in after the summer."

Crystal snatched the mic back, putting it to her lips excitedly. "How fascinating," she said almost facetiously, clearly wanting to move on to another topic. "WeTalk wants to be the first to have the scoop, because we're sure all the ladies watching are dying to know—" She waggled her eyebrows suggestively, giving him an appreciative once-over and giggling girlishly. "Are you single?"

Ryan cocked an eyebrow. "As a matter of fact, I am not."

Crystal gave a disappointed sigh. "All the good ones are taken," she said seriously, and Ryan gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder. "That isn't true. You'll find someone special one day who loves every single piece of you, someone who you'll love every little thing about, and you'll realise that." He looked to his right, smiling and holding out his hand to the guy off-screen. "Just like I have."

The unknown guy took Ryan's hand, giving an anxious little closed-mouth smile to the camera. Dave instantly felt bad for the guy, being dragged on-screen when he had been so discreetly hiding off it. Ryan smiled lovingly at his boyfriend, and Crystal took that as her cue to call for a commercial break.

"Aw," she said, making fake gooey-eyes over the adorable couple. "How cute." She turned back to the camera, her eyes flashing. "Up next, interviews with the rest of the cast, and a special sneak peek of _Family Vacation_ you won't want to miss. Stay tuned!" She smiled, and Dave quickly transferred.

"And... we're out," he said, as he had a hundred times before, watching Crystal's demeanour suddenly shift from one of cute admiration to disgust. She made a noise at the back of her throat and stalked away, her nose in the air.

He could hear her talking to Lucille several feet off, squealing about how, "..._those stupid fags _ruined_ my shot!_" Dave winced at her choice of words, turning to the couple apologetically.

"Sorry about her," he apologised, nodding towards Crystal while Ryan's boyfriend shot her a disdainful glance. "She's very... uncensored off-camera." Ryan shrugged, putting an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders carelessly, gay and proud of it.

"Don't worry, I'm from Albuquerque— believe me, I'm used to it. Honestly, there are worse things that can be said or done. At least she had the mind enough to keep her... _opinions_ about my sexuality until you went to break," he said, his eyes still happy and kind, easily brushing off the obvious insult Crystal had thrown at him. He turned to his boyfriend, a grin forming on his face. "But, hey, I think I might've just accidently caused my first scandal."

"Bad press is usually better than good press, anyway," Dave told Ryan, a hint jokingly. "It's not like you were hiding in the closet, but now people are going to flip and say you '_came out on live television_.' At least people didn't find out how they did about Lambert, eh?"

Ryan's boyfriend laughed and shook his head, offering Dave his hand. "Kurt Hummel. It's a pleasure to meet you." Dave moved his camera to his shoulder and shook the offered hand.

"Likewise." He threw a glance over his shoulder at the girls, who were primping themselves and getting ready for their next shot. "Listen, I've got to go, but..." He shook Ryan's hand too, smiling at them. "If it's any consolation, I think you make a cute couple."

He rushed off toward Crystal and Lucille, mentally checking his watch and trying to figure out how much time they had. Less than a minute. "Crys, listen," he said, and she turned to him, raising an eyebrow delicately. "You can't just _say_ stuff like that. I think you really offended them."

She cocked her hip to one side, placing a hand on the side of her gold satin dress at the curve of her tiny waist. She shook her head, glaring him down. "I can say anything I want, _camera man_," she said, and he winced. "I am in front of the camera, whilst _you_ are behind it. Therefore _you_ cannot tell me what I can and cannot say. Am I being clear?" Dave sighed.

"But Crys—" he started, but she held up her hand.

"I said, 'Am I being clear?'" she repeated, her jaw clenched.

Dave sighed again, rolling his eyes and saying the words he knew she wanted to hear, "Crystal clear."

She grinned, nodding approvingly. "Good." She put the microphone back to her mouth and waved for him to get ready. Hoisting the camera and focussing on Crystal and Lucille's faces, he sighed again, shaking his head.

"Everything looks better on TV," he mused, making one last adjustment to his equipment. "We're live in three... two... one..."


	2. Phone Home

_Loving the positive response, guys— you guys are amazing! (I hated Crystal too. I don't even like _writing_ bigots.)_

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**1: Phone Home (Lil Wayne)**

"I thought it went pretty well, all things considering...," Kurt confided in Ryan seriously later that evening, his eyes roaming carelessly over his boyfriend's backside as he bent over a half-packed suitcase. Ryan laughed and shook his head, neatly filling his luggage with folded clothes.

"The reporter bitch? Yeah, everything would've gone _perfectly_, if we hadn't been called fags in front of dozens of people, at a very special event in my life. Go figure." Kurt winced.

"But you're not bitter at all, are you?" he asked facetiously, rolling his eyes in Ryan's direction, who was diligently sorting hats onto the bedspread. "Please tell me you aren't taking _all_ your hats. My house is relatively large, but even it won't fit all of those."

Ryan shook his head, chuckling. "I'm only going to take a few... which one goes better with my new Armani suit, the dark cerulean newsboy, or the midnight blue fedora?" He held up the two hats seriously, looking back and forth between the two with a loving look on his face. Kurt shook his head again, amused.

"The... fedora," Kurt decided, though honestly, they both just look _blue_ to him. (And that was saying something, considering his eye for fashion.) Ryan's obsession with having the perfect hat never ceased to amaze him. Kurt had, on occasion, worn a hat to compliment a fabulous outfit, but he didn't have four _thousand_ of them. Maybe that was an exaggeration, but not by much.

Ryan bit his lip, shaking his head. "Can't I bring both?"

"Nope." Kurt reached over and snatched the newsboy cap away from his boyfriend, hiding it behind his back. "Pack the fedora, before I hide this so well that you'll _never _see it again." Ryan paled, throwing up his hands in defeat.

"Alright! You win! Just please don't keep him hostage!" He dropped the fedora into his suitcase and lunged for Kurt, his fingers making contact with his ribcage and tickling ferociously. "Come on, give it!"

Kurt relented, doubling over in laughter as he handed the precious hat back to its owner. "You can be so silly, Ryan," he laughed, reaching up to flatted his mussed hair. "Now finish up packing, we have to go to bed early if we're going to catch our eight a.m. flight."

"Can't I finish packing in the morning?" Ryan practically whined, his voice taking on a nasally quality that made Kurt wince. "There are so many ways we could be better using our time." Kurt slapped Ryan's arm playfully, shaking his head and pointing to the mess of unpacked necessities laid out on the bed.

"You're the one who left this to the last minute. You can't just ship your clothes to Lima after you— it doesn't work like that. Not in Ohio, anyway."

The shrill, out-of-date music of Beyoncé filled the room with Kurt's once-favourite song. He grabbed for his cell phone, which was spinning around on Ryan's desk because of its vibrating. Ryan rolled his eyes as Kurt flipped open the phone, putting it to his ear with a grin.

"Hi, dad," he greeted with a huge smile. His smiled faded when he realised Ryan was just sitting on the edge of his bed, instead of packing. He waved his arms about and mouthed, "_Get moving, Ryan,_" while Burt Hummel talked to him from Ohio.

"_Hey, son. Are you all packed? You said you had an early flight, so I was just calling to remind you..._" the older Hummel said, his voice its usual rough tone, but somehow also managing to sound fatherly and concerned. It talent he had developed after years of dealing with Kurt.

"...to bring my best suit and tie," Kurt finished, already knowing what his father was calling to say. Burt Hummel had always been extremely predictable. "I know, dad. I'm taking my role of Best Man very seriously." Burt sighed in relief, and Kurt could picture him running a hand over his balding head in that way he did when he was stressed. Having to deal with all these wedding plans was hard on him.

"_Well, that's good. How is, er, Ryan? Did the premiere thing go well?_"

Burt had never been one to keep up with the goings-on in his son's life, but since they now lived in different states, he had made a point to listen to Kurt telling him the events of his life when they talked on the phone. While he was still not entirely sure he was comfortable with Kurt practically living with a boy he'd never met (Kurt had confessed once that he rarely slept in his own dorm room anymore, which worried Burt to know end), he tried to be supportive.

"Well, I was on live television for about three seconds," Kurt boasted, purposely censuring the part that happened afterward. "And the movie itself was fantastic. Ryan's just finishing up packing now, since he had a busy schedule the last few days."

"_That's great, kiddo._" Kurt couldn't help but notice he sounded exhausted.

"How're you, dad? You sound tired," he said honestly, glaring daggers at Ryan, who was playing with various hats and articles of sparkly clothing rather than packing them. He pointed to the suitcase and then drew his finger across his throat— the universal movement for _do it, or die_. Ryan rolled his eyes but began to thrust his clothes into the case anyway, making a show of how hard he was working. Kurt almost giggled, but held it in because his dad was talking.

"_Well, Carole has gone into wedding over-drive... apparently her and Hudson didn't have a 'proper' wedding— with all the flowers and guests and stuff— so she's making it a _really_ big deal. She wants me to be involved in every decision, but she doesn't want me to touch anything— like she asks me which sample of napkin I prefer, and I'll just pick one, and then she gets mad and goes with the other one anyway. I don't understand women at _all _sometimes._"

Kurt did chuckle then, shaking his head and leaning against Ryan's desk. "I don't either. I guess I'm lucky that I prefer men."

There was a little awkward silence, in which his father was probably groaning internally and blushing like crazy as he always did when Kurt casually mentioned his orientation. Kurt took the opportunity to take a dress shirt out of Ryan's hands and replace it with a different one (orange was totally _not_ Ryan's colour, and it would totally clash with everything Kurt had packed to wear).

"Anyway," Kurt started up again, tossing the horrid shirt into the bottom drawer of Ryan's dresser, hiding it under several other, much nicer shirts so that it (hopefully) would never see the light of day again, "We'll be there around lunch time, so make sure you're there to let us in. I lost my key within the first week of living here, and I am _not_ going to sit outside on the porch for an hour waiting for you or Carole to come home."

"_I'll be home. Don't worry; I already planned for Lowell and Puckerman to take the day's shift, so I won't even have to go to the garage tomorrow. It's not often that I get to see you anymore. And you ya think I'm going to waste an opportunity to interrogate your boyfriend?_"

"You wouldn't!" Kurt protested, suddenly fearful of the idea that Burt might try to do the whole _disapproving father asking nosy questions_ thing again.

"_Don't worry, Kurt, I'm keeping my shotgun on the mantle this time. I promise._"

"You'd better," Kurt warned, his voice steely, "Or I won't ever bring my significant other home to Lima again. And then you'll be sorry, because you'll have no idea what's going on in my life, or if I'm dating some creep."

Burt laughed, his voice crackling over the speakers. "_Whatever you say, son. Listen, I gotta go, the game is on and—_"

"I understand. You have fun. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He paused, then added a quiet, "I love you."

"_I love you too, buddy,_" his father chuckled knowingly, probably shaking his head, "_Get some sleep, okay? Early flight 'n all._"

"I will. Bye, dad."

Ryan looked up from his luggage and made a grand gesture to his boyfriend, waving his arm over it like the girls on _The Price is Right_. "Ta-da!" he said, a grin on his face. "All done packing! Told you I could've done it in the morning."

Kurt rolled his eyes and pushed his boyfriend onto the bed and sat on his knees, reaching out to tickle him. "I hate it when you're right, you know that?" Ryan laughed and pried the assaulting fingers from his stomach, glaring Kurt down.

"Nah, you know you love it." He leaned up and kissed the look of indignation from Kurt's face before the smaller man could make a retort. "Almost as much as you love me." Kurt pulled away, breaking the kiss and laughing.

"You don't yourself very high on my list of priorities, then, do you?" he asked, reaching over and plucking a stray unpacked hat from the bedspread beside them, "I love you more than I love Marc Jacobs."

Ryan's eyes went wide. "Wow. That's a lot." Kurt rolled his eyes and shoved the hat onto Ryan's head.

"Duh. You're going to freaking _Ohio_ for me, so that I can see my dad get married. You're the best boyfriend I could've asked for." Ryan leaned in for another kiss, savouring the cuteness of the moment and giving the moment a special place in his memory.

"Yeah, well, you're even better," Ryan countered, lazily reaching over and doing up the zipper of his suitcase, pushing it off the bed once it was sealed. "Besides, we only have a couple hours left to ourselves..." Kurt chuckled and leaned in to give his boyfriend another kiss.

"We can sleep on the plane anyway, right?"

"Definitely."


	3. A Sort of Homecoming

_I got inspiration suddenly. Huh. I actually thought I had abandoned this one, but I guess not. :D  
I cannot write Carole, apparently. She has somehow turned into Mrs. Weasely, and I can't seem to fix it no matter how hard I try...  
Also, this is un-beta'd. Mistakes are my own. Point them out, and I'll correct them._

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**2: A Sort of Homecoming (U2)**

After barely catching an hour's sleep on the ridiculously short flight from the John F. Kennedy International Airport in Queens to the James M. Cox International Airport in Dayton and an hour-long shuttle bus to Lima from there, Ryan expected for Kurt to be too tired to do anything but hug his dad and then collapse for a nap, considering they hadn't gotten much (read: any) sleep at all the previous night. Then again, Burt Hummel was not exactly what Ryan had been picturing when Kurt had told him all about his awesome dad, either. It was just a day for surprises.

Even though Kurt had mentioned Burt's profession as a mechanic, he had expected him to at least _somewhat_ resemble his son— which he did not. At all. The man that answered the door when Kurt rang the bell was almost the exact opposite of the exuberant countertenor he had fathered in almost every way possible.

He was burly, square-shouldered, tall and held lots of presence. He was wearing what looked like a cotton-blend plaid shirt, worn jeans and wool socks with a distinctive hole in the left toe. He was balding, and wearing a baseball cap to cover it. If he hadn't had clear blue-green eyes and wasn't grinning once he saw them, Ryan would've sworn they had got to the wrong house.

Ryan watched almost jealously as Kurt flung himself into his father's waiting arms the moment the door was fully opened. While the man honestly didn't look like much, from the way Kurt talked about him— like he was some kind of superhero— to the look he had in his eyes as he practically picked Kurt up in an effort to hug him better, Ryan still felt as if he had been missing out on something. His own father would never had stood for any kind of public display of affection like this (even if they were just on the front steps on the Hummel's home), or even act so happy to see him. Kurt had been down to visit his family during the Christmas holidays, after all, and even though it had been twice as long since the last time Ryan had seen his father, there was no way his father would greet him like that. Ever.

"Dad, this is Ryan," Kurt said after he had reluctantly let his father go. Ryan held out his hand and smiled winsomely, hoping to make a good first impression. Burt Hummel gave him a once-over, and, apparently deeming him respectable, took his hand and shook it.

"I'm very pleased to meet you, sir," he said, wanting to get on the good side of his boyfriend's admittedly slightly intimidating-looking father.

Burt opened his mouth to reply when he was none-too-gently shoved aside by a shapely woman with wild auburn curls who wrapped her arms a similarly enthusiastic Kurt. She shocked Ryan by hugging him too, before quickly grabbing a suitcase by the handle and ushering everyone inside the house.

"Come on inside, Ryan dear, no need to make a spectacle of ourselves for the neighbours!" Carole buzzed as he picked up his other suitcase and followed her, fascinated. "That woman across the street is a horrible gossip. She told half the ladies of the PTA that I was pregnant because I bought a jar of pickles while I was at the supermarket. Honestly, some _people_."

Kurt laughed, grabbing the rest of his luggage and pulling it down the hall to place in the living room, where it would temporarily sit.

"You'll be staying in the guestroom," Burt informed Ryan dryly. Kurt made a noise of protest, but Ryan just held up his hand for silence.

"I'm sure that won't be necessary, Mr. Hummel. I already had my agent book me a room at..." He paused, digging around in his pocket for the note he had written himself for future reference. "...the Wyndham Hotel?"

Kurt looked horrified, and so did Carole, but for entirely different reasons.

"Nonsense! You will not be paying for your stay here when we were the ones who invited you!" Carole protested, already looking fond of Ryan. Kurt and she had had many a phone conversation about him, and she already felt as if she knew him as well as she knew Rachel, her son's long-term girlfriend.

"That's alright, Mrs. Hudson, I wouldn't want to put you to the trouble—"

"It's no trouble at all, dear. And call me Carole. Since Burt built the expansion, there's plenty of room for everyone. I _insist_."

"Well..."

Ryan was conflicted. On the one hand, he didn't want to inconvenience the Hummels by taking up a room that could be used for another guest— one who was _actually_ family— but on the other hand, Kurt was giving him a scathing look, and it would be nice to be able to have breakfast together in the mornings, even though it looked as though there was no way Burt Hummel was going to let them share a bed...

"There is no way I am letting you stay at the _Wyndham_," Kurt said sourly. "It's horrible."

"It's the best in town," Burt helpfully pointed out. Then he seemed to realise that the comment sounded as though he was prompting Ryan to stay there, and switched tactics. "But I agree with Carole. We invited you here, and you are our guest." He seemed to say the latter a little begrudgingly, but Carole seemed satisfied.

"The Wyndham is only three stars, Ryan," Kurt pointed out. "They probably can't make toast without burning it, and there sheets' thread count is probably _dreadful_."

"Alright, if you insist," Ryan agreed, albeit carefully. He wanted to make a good, lasting impression on this family. He loved Kurt, and wanted their relationship to last.

Carole clapped her hands together happily, looking positively delighted. "Oh, good. Now that that's settled, why don't I show you your room, Ryan?" Ryan smiled and picked up his suitcase, following the future Mrs. Hummel around back to where the new extension was.

"So, what do you think?" Kurt asked meekly, turning to his father with his eyes begging for approval.

"He seems... polite," Burt admitted, shifting a little uncomfortably. No matter how accepting he was of his son's sexuality, it was still a little weird for him to be talking about boys with his son. He figured it would always be _weird_, but he was trying his hardest to be supportive and open-minded.

Kurt grinned. "He's always like that, a complete gentleman. Good upbringing, I suppose." He sighed a little. "You didn't have to pull the overprotective father act on him, though."

"I told him he could stay here, didn't I?" Burt protested.

"In a separate bedroom, two floors above my own," Kurt pointed out, crossing his arms. "It's almost as though you don't trust us to behave ourselves. Honestly, dad, we'll be in town for less than two weeks. I think we can control ourselves."

Burt pulled off his hat and ran a hand over the balding head, a nervous habit he'd picked up while Kurt's mother was ill. "Er, speaking of that... stuff," he started, his ears turning red as he continued to rub the back of his neck. "You two have been... safe, right?"

Kurt flushed deep red, lowering his eyes to the floor. "As much as you know it makes me really uncomfortable to talk about this stuff with you, yes, we have. And don't ever bring it up again, because I'm always responsible, and conversations like this make me want to pull my hair out. And I _can't_ pull off that look."

Burt snorted and pulled his son into another hug, ruffling up Kurt's hair. Kurt squeaked and tried to quickly fix it, making an indignant noise as Burt laughed. "I've missed you, son. The house is too quiet without you and Finn around."

Kurt lit up when he heard his future step-brother's name, as though only just now remembering that he'd be in town for the wedding, too. "When's he getting here?" he asked, excited to be seeing Finn again, considering he hadn't since Christmas break.

"He's making the drive home this afternoon, if I remember correctly. And your Aunt Mildred will be coming in on Sunday."

Kurt groaned just as Ryan re-entered the room, looking at his boyfriend with mild amusement. "What's wrong? You forget to pack something?"

Kurt shook his head. "Long story, and not one for today."

"Well, let's go for a walk," Ryan suggested. Kurt brightened a little. "Someone needs to give me an honorary tour of Lima, right?"

Kurt agreed, grinning as he turned to his father. "Dad, can I take the Navigator?"

Burt nodded, and Kurt grabbed his old car keys from the bowl beside the front door, taking Ryan's hand and dragging him outside.

"It was nice to meet you, Mr. Hummel!" he called over his shoulder as he was pulled along by an exuberant Kurt. Burt shook his head after the boys had disappeared, wandering into the kitchen to find his fiancée.

"Well, _I_ like him," Carole announced after she saw the distraught look on Burt's face when he entered the kitchen. Burt sighed, sitting down at the counter and leaning forward on his elbows.

"I do, too. That's what I'm worried about."

Carole chuckled and pecked him on the forehead, placing a piece of pie in front of him. "They're all grown up," she agreed sadly, her mind wandering to how Finn had recently been saving up for the engagement ring he knew Rachel wanted. She sat down beside Burt, offering him a fork. "And we're empty nesters."

"Well, at least we'll always have each other," Burt told her, grinning as he scooped a forkful of pie off his plate and offered it to her. She giggled and ate it, lightly nudging him with her shoulder after she'd swallowed. He put his arm around her, thanking whatever God was up there that he and Carole had found each other.


End file.
